Dearest Bubba, I know I had you told before that you were a surprise. But fun fact that I never told you? I never wanted to be a mom or to have kids. I had bigger plans or so I thought. In fact I was even taking precautions to make sure that it didn’t happen. So imagine my shock when I saw those lines. I don’t think I spoke for the next couple of hours. Then I held you for the first time and I knew my life had changed for the better. You put my life onto a better course when you made me a mom.  I’d like to think that I taught you so many things but in all honesty you’re the one that taught me. You taught me patience and grace, understanding and that magic erasers work better than getting upset about permanent marker on the walls.  You taught me how to sew because of all of your ripped clothes and how to get creative with cooking, that having boys means lots of mud and stitches and most importantly you taught me about unconditional love. You made me a mama and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

To say that I miss you, Bubba, is an under statement but I’m so grateful the short amount of time that I was blessed with you. I couldn’t be prouder of the wonderful man you were growing into. Your huge heart, even when you were ornery. Every morning I wake up and there’s that moment when I expect your huge smile to say morning mom and you to jump on me. You have the biggest, goofiest, most contagious smile. I wish to hug you just once more, so I can never never let you go. But until that time that we’re together again, I’ll carry you in my heart, feel you in the sunshine & when I hold a newborn calf, smell you on sweaty horses & saddles and forever know you made me the luckiest mama in the world. Until we can be together again. I love you to the moon and back, forever. ❤ Mom

Jeff, We love you and miss you every day. We are so lucky to have had you in our lives for the time we did. You touched so many lives, even more than you knew. Your love for the trails and spending time with friends and family was when your true joy came out. Spending so many hours on the trails with you I got to hear story after story about your crazy life in New York, how much you loved your mom, brother and sister, everything from your first meeting with your wife to all the years you shared together, how much you loved your kids and how proud you were to be their dad. You shared those stories and a piece of you with everyone who got to spend time with you. Looking back, I know that’s why you connected with so many people and why so many loved you. I felt like we had a special connection, but I later realized you had that same connection with so many people. You made people feel good about themselves, made them realize they were strong, made them feel like they could do things they didn’t think they could. I don’t know how many people you told if you could do it, they could too…and you made us believe it! I think about you and your stories every day I’m out on the trails we spent so much time on.

We talked about your challenges too. I did my best to be there for you, I wish I could go back to those days. I’d find the right words, I’d make sure you knew how much everyone loved you. Thank you for making us all believe in ourselves, for reminding us to be kind to each other and to encourage each other. Thank you for allowing us into your life.  ❤ Holly Finch (and your favorite Dirty Soles)

Jordan, We love you. There are days that I find so much joy in your memories and other days that I wish I could have just 2 seconds more to experience your sharp sense of humor, your sweet sullen smile, and the opportunity to just be still and tell you how much I love you as many times as possible. One more day to help you see what we saw, all in hopes you would stay. We all wish we could turn back the clock and tell you we love you and that it would change the course of things. Life is forever changed because you aren’t here, but you will always be in this auntie’s heart.

❤

I have so many wishes and what if’s and I know none of that matters. What matters today…. I get to share my beautiful nephew Jordan Terry Goodwin with you. He flew high until he couldn’t anymore and I love him more and more every day. Life can be so hard and dark and we are blessed with a new start each and every day. If you find yourself in your darkest day and just don’t feel like you can move on….. there is always light beyond the clouds and I want to see you live and fly high! I love you. ❤ Amber Mausling

Joshua Scott Fowler lost his life to suicide on June 28, 1999. He had an infectious laughter, and a smile that would Iight up the room. He had a heart of gold and was always serving others. He would give you the shirt off his back. He was just 16 when he died and 22 years later, he is missed every day.

❤

Josh, I hope to live my life so you can be proud of me and I can keep your memory alive.  I love you. ❤ Kendra Nicolaysen

Greg was the brother of one of my dearest friends. His tragic death forever changed the lives of my friend and all those who loved him. He is missed by many.  ❤