Self-harm is one of those topics people avoid — until it affects someone they love.

But the reality is, it’s happening more often than many of us realize. In schools. On teams. In homes that seem “fine.” In teens and adults who smile and say they’re okay.

The more we avoid talking about it, the more isolated people feel. So let’s talk about it.

What Is Self-Harm?

Self-harm (also called non-suicidal self-injury or NSSI) is when someone intentionally injures their own body as a way to cope with emotional pain.

It is often not a suicide attempt.

For many, it’s a coping mechanism — a way to manage overwhelming feelings, numbness, shame, trauma, or distress that feels too big to carry internally.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, about 1 in 6 adolescents report engaging in self-harm at least once. Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows increasing rates of persistent sadness and emotional distress among teens in recent years.

This isn’t rare.
And it isn’t just happening “somewhere else.”

Why Would Someone Hurt Themselves?

From the outside, self-harm can be confusing. From the inside, it often serves a purpose.

People may self-harm to:

• Release intense emotional pain
• Feel something when they feel numb
• Regain a sense of control
• Punish themselves due to shame
• Express pain they don’t know how to say

For some, the physical sensation briefly reduces emotional overwhelm. The brain remembers that relief — even though it doesn’t solve the root issue.

That’s why telling someone to “just stop” rarely works. The behavior is meeting a need, even if it’s a harmful one.

Signs to Look For

Self-harm is often hidden, but there are warning signs.

Physical

• Unexplained cuts, burns, or bruises
• Wearing long sleeves in warm weather
• Frequent “accidents”
• Bandages without clear reasons

Emotional & Behavioral

• Withdrawal from friends or activities
• Increased anxiety or depression
• Mood swings
• Harsh self-criticism
• Isolation or secrecy

Sometimes the biggest sign is simply a noticeable shift in personality or energy. Trust your instincts.

Long-Term Effects

While self-harm may provide temporary relief, it can have lasting consequences.

Emotionally, it can:

• Increase depression and anxiety
• Reinforce shame cycles
• Raise risk of suicidal thoughts

Physically, it can lead to:

• Scarring
• Infection
• Nerve damage
• Accidental severe injury

Research shows individuals who engage in self-harm are at higher risk for future suicide attempts — which makes early support incredibly important.

But this is also true:

Self-harm is treatable.
Recovery is possible.
And many people go on to live healthy, stable lives with the right support.

How to Help

If you’re concerned about someone, approach with calm and care.

Instead of:
“Why would you do that?”

Try:
“I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed lately. I care about you. I’m here if you want to talk.”

Helpful steps:
✔ Stay calm
✔ Avoid shame or lectures
✔ Thank them for trusting you
✔ Encourage professional support
✔ Focus on safety

You don’t need perfect words. You just need presence.

Prevention Matters

Protective factors reduce risk.

Self-harm decreases when people have:

• Strong social support
• Emotional regulation skills
• Access to mental health care
• A sense of belonging
• Healthy stress outlets

Prevention doesn’t start in crisis. It starts in connection.

Resources for Immediate Help

If you or someone you love needs support:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
  Call or text 988 (24/7, free, confidential)
• Crisis Text Line
  Text HOME to 741741
• Self-Injury Outreach & Support
  Education and recovery resources

If outside the U.S., contact local emergency services or mental health providers.

Final Thoughts

Self-harm thrives in silence.
Healing grows in connection.

If you are struggling, you are not broken.
If you are supporting someone, your presence matters.

We can reduce stigma.
We can increase awareness.
And we can build communities where people don’t have to cope alone.

Healing is possible. 💛